


Like Penguins Huddling For Warmth

by violasarecool



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: (almost) everyone is nonbinary, Gen, Nonbinary Character, brief unintentional misgendering in the very beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 00:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16881858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: at first, no one really gets to know anyone on the ship. then, it happens by landslide; as it turns out, nonbinary people often gather like penguins huddling for warmth.





	Like Penguins Huddling For Warmth

The thing about packing a tiny ship full of strangers was that despite the long travel times, despite the hours of hyperspace travel, the days fighting together, they just... didn't really talk to each other. Didn't get to know each other, didn't trade war stories, barely even made small talk as they waited for news of their next destination. Of course, for most of the bizarre assortment of people Siat had assembled, Atton didn't mind that _one bit._ But it did mean _certain conversations_ were put off until they all crashed together like a landslide the first time the entire crew was in one room.

Say, after Siat made it off Goto's ship.

"I still can't believe you took _her_ and not me," Atton grumbled, with a glare at Brianna.

"Them," Siat said absently. "We've already been over why I wanted Brianna with me." She glanced around as Kreia slunk out of the room, then shrugged, turning back to the others.

"Don't mind him, he's just mad that when it came down to it, we kicked more ass than him," Mira shot.

" _Ver_ ," Atton said.

"Huh?"

"I suppose you'd prefer if Mical leant his—"

"Her."

 _"_ _—_ _Jedi_ skills?"

Atton made a low exasperated noise. "Kriffing hells," ve muttered, "can we just wear pronoun nametags or something? How many of us can there _possibly_ be on this damn ship?" Ve stared for a moment as conversation continued without ver, voices overlapping in waves of sound that got louder every second. "Hey," Atton called on a whim, "hands up if you're trans."

To vis surprise, the room fell silent. Then, Atton stared as everyone but Bao-Dur raised their hands.

Bao-Dur made a weighing hand gesture. "I'm nonbinary," they said.

"As am I," Visas said, tipping zir head at them, "is not nonbinary considered a part of being trans?"

"Sure, if you want it to be. I've just never considered myself trans."

"Oh my god, I was _joking,"_ Atton interrupted. Ve stared around the room, eyes narrowed. "...Hands up if you're nonbinary?"

Mira put her hand down.

"Holy shit," Atton muttered with a strangled laugh.

"What is it they say?" came Siat's voice, and Atton turned to see her shoot ver a wry grin. "Like penguins huddling for warmth."

Atton nodded slowly. "You can say that again."

* * *

"That doesn't make sense, it's definitely xir."

"No, I am quite sure I have heard it as hir."

Voices drifted down the hall, and Siat glanced up from eir datapad as Mical and Atton approached, bickering as they went. "Hey, Siat," Atton called, as he spotted em, "settle something for us. Xe/xir, or xe/hir?"

Siat turned off eir datapad, leaned one arm against the wall. "It can be either."

"Oh, come on," Atton exclaimed. "Just say I'm right!"

"There is no _right,"_ Siat said, rolling eir eyes.

Atton turned, scanning the room for someone else to ask. "Hey, Bao-Dur—"

"No," they said without looking up from the holotable.

"Well fuck you too," Atton muttered, his expression so petulant Siat had to turn and leave the room before ey started laughing.

* * *

"I'll give you my entire hand right now if you ask Kreia if she's nonbinary."

"No way," Siat said. He placed down a plus 1 card. "Not when I'm winning. That's 21."

"Oh, fuck me, I thought you were out of those." Mira swept up the rest of her cards, discarding them to the side. "Ok, but it's not like anyone _else_ can ask, she only likes you."

"And probing into her personal life is really going to help that," Siat said dryly.

Mira shrugged. "It's not like she's gonna get _less_ grumpy. Did she ever actually tell you she used she pronouns, anyway, or did we all just assume and she went with it?"

Siat stopped shuffling cards for a moment. "Uh." He frowned, trying to think back to when they met. "Come to think of it... no. Though in my defence," he said, flipping up a card, "I barely remembered what being nonbinary meant when we first met. I didn't even remember I was genderfluid."

"Oh, yeah, go on, play the amnesia card."

Off to the side, T3 made a series of chirps and whistles. " _A plus six card is worth more."_

"He's got a point," Mira said, smirking.

Siat just rolled his eyes. "Hey T3, what pronouns do _you_ want, buddy?"

 _"My pronouns are fuck you,"_ T3 warbled cheerfully.

"Thanks T3," Siat muttered, as Mira gave a sharp laugh.

 _"Anything but tin can,"_ T3 added.

"I'll get Atton to stop saying that someday," Siat sighed.

* * *

Later, in the garage, Siat posed HK the same question.

"Patronizing statement: Master, droids do not _have_ the same sense of gender you meatbags do. My programming is a finely-tuned amalgamation of expert assassination protocal and some other small but necessary functions, stream-lined for optimum efficiency. There is no place in my programming for _gender."_

Siat rolled eir eyes. _I'm a pompous droid, we don't_ have _things like gender or modesty._ "Fine," Siat said, "so what, any pronouns? No preference?"

To eir surprise, HK didn't respond right away. Then: "I did not say that."

Siat blinked. "Ok..."

"Embarrassed statement: I must confess I do have somewhat of a... preference, as you meatbags like to say. In my time out in the galaxy, I have noticed a certain pattern among organics in how they address droids. Observation: when an organic considers a droid to be little more than furniture, they use 'it'. 'Have it clean the rooms', they will say, or 'make it work faster'. It is on rare occasions that someone, indeed someone like yourself, master, will say, 'Ah, HK-47? Let us see what _he_ thinks.'"

"Oh," Siat said quietly.

"Reluctant conclusion: If you were searching for a pronoun by which to refer to me, I suppose 'he' would do."

"Okay," Siat said, shooting him a half-smile, "I can do that."

"Warning statement: But do not think this means I am falling prey to meatbag sentimentality. I am simply allowing for your own misplaced organic inclinations."

"How generous of you," Siat said dryly, though ey was still smiling when ey left.

* * *

"Mando'a is pretty neutral, as far as gender goes," Canderous was saying, his blaster propped up on one knee as he wiped it down. Visas sat on a chair beside him, legs crossed, chin in zir hands. "Basic tries to separate everything: father and mother, daughter and son. In Mando'a, _buir_ just means parent; _ad_ just means child."

"Interesting," Visas said. "So your language has no gender?"

Canderous grunted. "Not exactly. There's _jagyc,_ and _dalyc_ , but you don't hear those much outside medcentres. Most of the time, you'd have to really go out of your way to gender someone at all."

"I see."

"Not to mention, it's pretty damn rude." They gave their blaster an emphatic swipe.

"Yes," Visas said quietly. Down the hall, T3 whirred down towards the engine, quietly burbling to themself. Visas watched for a moment, then glanced back at Canderous as something occurred to zir. "What pronouns do you use, then, in Mando'a?" zie asked.

Canderous gave a bark of a laugh. "Pronouns... It's _kaysh."_

"Kaysh...?" Visas asked, waiting for em to elaborate.

"Kaysh, kaysh... kaysh," Canderous said, smirking. When Visas gave em a blank look, ey added: "It doesn't change like basic does. Kaysh can mean they, them, zir, her, he, ey, _whatever._ We don't _have_ all these different pronouns."

"That is why you do not mind what pronouns we use for you?"

Canderous shrugged. "In a way. I've had squadmates who felt differently, though; it all comes down to personal preference. Why, how does... Miralukan handle things?"

"Miralukan has no pronouns at all," Visas said.

"Well, there you go."

* * *

Days passed without incident; hyperspace travel was long, and slow, but at least no one was fighting each other. That morning, however—or as close to a unified 'morning' as it got, when everyone was combating odd hours with stims and too much caf—there was a crackling noise over the intercom, then Atton's voice boomed out across the ship. "Today's menu is co pronouns—that's co/co/co's. Atton out."

Siat leaned in the doorway to the cockpit, watching Atton's back with amusement. "Really, Atton?" she said, and Atton turned around in co's chair, shrugged.

"Hey, I respect that you'd rather tell people _your_ pronouns in person, but frankly I'd rather cut my right arm off. This is way more efficient."

"No, I mean—today's _menu?"_

"Yeah, why not," Atton grinned. "Why, what's _your_ flavour of the day?"

Siat narrowed her eyes at co, struggling not to laugh. "She/her," she said.

* * *

"Am I disturbing you?" Visas stood in the doorway to the cargo hold, a bundle of clothing in zir arms. Inside, Brianna moved through stances with smooth precision, beads of sweat gathering on her forehead. "Bao-dur asked me to bring you your clean robes."

"Ah. Thank you," Brianna said, giving zir a brief nod.

Visas set them down on a nearby crate, but as zie turned to leave, zie hesitated in the doorway. "I have a question, if I may," Visas said. When Brianna glanced at zir, zie continued: "Your... sisters, the handmaids," zie said, with a glance at Brianna's white Echani robes, "they call you sister as well. And yet, you are not a woman. Am I correct?"

Brianna didn't say anything, eyes focused ahead. She whipped her staff around into the next position, beads of sweat rolling down her face from the exertion.

Visas straightened, took a step back. "Forgive me. I will leave y—"

"We are called sisters by tradition," Brianna said, and Visas stilled. "Just as our six worlds are known as the Six Sisters; just as the Echani Command is traditionally all-female. In practice, there are frequently those on the council who are not women. We look on the word less as an indication of gender, and more as a tie that binds us as a people. Although—" she added, head tipping up, "you are only mostly correct. I am... somewhat of a woman."

"I see," Visas said. Zie watched Brianna for a moment, as she straightened her back; Visas's mouth curled up in a slight smile.

"What?" Brianna asked.

"I find it interesting that despite our people's differences, we seem to have a similar view," Visas said; Brianna leaned a hand on the top of her staff, head tipped in reluctant interest, and Visas continued. "It is common among my people to speak of ourselves as 'brothers'—as you say, not as an indicator of gender, but rather of our great united family."

"Really," Brianna said.

Visas inclined zir head. "Evidently it is a more common thread than I previously believed."

"Clearly." Brianna picked up her staff again, weighing it in her hand, but glanced back up at Visas with a pensive look. "And what do your people think of... those like us? Nonbinary people?"

Visas's head turned slightly, mouth slack in what Brianna might have described as mild surprise. "We are very common," zie said plainly. "My people have a strong tradition of multi-faceted gender identity—as well as our identities as a whole. I find it hard to imagine another way of seeing it."

"As do many," Brianna said dryly, and Visas's mouth twitched.

They were quiet for a moment, the hum of the ship's engine filling the silence as thoroughly as their words. "Siat is waiting; I should be on my way," Visas said, drawing back. "Though I would be interested in continuing this conversation another time."

"As would I," Brianna said with a nod, lifting her staff up to her starting position once more.

* * *

"I believe Revan was nonbinary," Mical said, as ne and Siat sat in the small room dedicated to the Hawk's medical supplies. Mical was holding a datapad, but ne had stopped looking at it some time ago. "It is almost ironic; many sources differ in their description of Revan, even by the same author. No one seems to agree as to their gender—or species," Mical added wryly—"and so one is just as likely to read about _her_ exploits as _his,_ and occasionally _theirs._ And yet, from what little I knew of them firsthand, they may well have been pleased by this."

"Oh?" Siat said curiously, settling forward to rest his chin on his hand. Conversation with Mical was often like watching his own memories through another's lens; there was so much Mical knew about Siat's and Revan's actions over the past decade that was only distant fiction to him.

"I did hear you refer to them by different pronouns on the few occasions I saw you both from afar. Though I did not think much of it at the time, since we had never spoken. I did not—" Mical paused, glanced up at Siat. "I suppose you do not remember the conversation, now."

"Probably not," Siat said. "What conversation?"

"Our first," Mical said simply.

"Oh," Siat said.

"You were the first person to introduce me to the _idea_ of being nonbinary," Mical said. "It is... not something in which the Jedi place much value, I imagine due to the amount of thinking about one's individual identity that is involved."

Siat snorted. "Sounds about right. _Servants of the Force_ first and foremost, right?"

"More or less."

"What did I say, exactly?" Siat asked.

"Um. Well. I began the conversation by informing you how much I admired you. I explained that, years ago, a woman I didn't know had taught my class how to listen to the Force in others. And I explained that I found out it was you, and I had many questions, if you had the time—to which you replied that you were not a woman, and, ah, told me to..."

 _"_ _—_ _fuck off."_

_"Pardon me?" Mical blinked up at Siat, eyes wide._

_"I think that was pretty clear," Siat shot, glaring at him. "Get lost, kid." Ey stood up, not bothering to pick up the pile of datapads in front of em before stalking off._

_Mical hurried after em. "Wait, please!" he called. "I did not mean to offend," he panted, struggling to keep pace with Siat's longer legs. "If you are not a woman, what should I call you?"_

_"A person," Siat snapped._

_Mical slowed, face scrunched up as he digested this. Then, he realized that Siat was still walking, and ran to catch up. "Okay!" he said. "I really did learn a lot from you,_ _" he added._

_"Great," Siat muttered._

_"I was wondering_ _—_ _" Mical began, but he stumbled on his robes, cutting himself off._

_Siat cast him a sideways glance, and sighed, face softening. "Listen," ey said, stopping abruptly, and Mical came to a stop, staring up at em attentively. "Now's.... not really a good time, okay?" ey said gently._

_"But there might not_ be _another time," Mical said seriously._

 _Siat's mouth tightened. "True." Ey crouched in front of him. "If you have questions about the Force, just ask your teachers_ _—_ _god knows they've been studying it longer than me. But... try searching 'nonbinary' on the holonet some time. Someone else will explain it better than I could."_

_"Nonbinary," Mical repeated, as Siat stood up, eyes following a figure passing through the opposite hall._

_"Yeah," ey said absently."It's... people like me." Then: "Shit, Alek, wait!" ey called, and ey took off at a jog, leaving Mical standing alone._

_-_

"That's _it?"_

Mical nodded.

"Sorry," Siat said wryly.

"There is no need to apologize," Mical said. "The Mandalorians were attacking, and the Revanchist movement picked up speed shortly after that; you must have been under a lot of pressure."

"Yeah, but you were just a _kid,"_ Siat said. He ran a hand down his face, and sighed. "Honestly, I can't say I _still_ wouldn't snap at some kid who just wanted to talk to me. People are exhausting."

Mical made a humming noise of amusement. "Still, there was once a young padawan who found your words helpful despite their sharp exterior. So thank you."

Siat smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

It was late in the evening—according to Atton's chronometer, anyway; the ship's halls were dimly-lit as usual, their empty lengths giving no indication that time was passing at all. Sleep wasn't happening any time soon, so she strolled through the main hold and down the hall toward the dormitory, listening for some indicator that Siat was almost finished eir ' _lesson'_ with Kreia. Silence, maybe, or footsteps.

Instead, she was met by the sound of terse voices.

"—should have asked sooner, I guess, but _you_ never said anything, either."

"If I objected, would I not have corrected you already?"

Atton blinked. Siat's irritation was understandable and common enough; ey had to deal with the old witch more than anyone on this ship. But even _Kreia's_ tone was at odds with her measured words. Atton inched further down the hall, slowing her breathing so as to make as little noise as possible.

"Does that mean they're right?" Siat retorted. "The pronouns?"

"Does it matter? Ah, of course it does. You need such things to break down the galaxy into neat categories; those who fit into their roles, those who change them, those who broaden them until they fit."

"To—for fuck's sake, I was trying to make you _comfortable!"_

There was a pause; Atton strained to hear anything over the grumbling of the ship. Then, Kreia spoke again: "You were indeed." Her words seemed... muted now. Almost gentle. Atton fidgeted with the strap on her holster uncomfortably. "Your concern is misplaced; I take no issue with the pronouns you and your crew have been using."

"Oh. I... ok."

"But we have spoken long enough; it is clear your mind is elsewhere, and we will accomplish nothing more tonight. Go, collect your fool, and take her and her questions elsewhere. I have not the patience for it tonight."

"Atton?" Siat said, and Atton started upright, hands falling to her sides.

"She is waiting outside," Kreia said.

Then, there was the sound of footsteps on the metal flooring, and Siat appeared around the corner, eyes curious. "Hey," ey said quietly.

"Hey." Atton gestured ahead of them, and they fell into step, walking down the hall side by side.

"Were you waiting long?"

Atton shook her head. "What was that about?"

"Pronouns," Siat said.

"Yeah, I got that much. She seemed kinda touchy about it, though."

Siat grunted. "Who isn't?"

"Yeah, I guess. Still weird to hear from _Kreia,_ of all people."

"It felt wrong," Siat said, voice low, and Atton glanced at em sidelong.

"What—"

"When she said it. ' _She'._ Like... she? didn't really believe it." Siat's mouth twisted into a grimace. "I felt this _dissonance_ , through our bond, just for a moment. Like Kreia was lying."

"Shocker," Atton said dryly.

Siat snorted. "Hah."

"Besides, it doesn't really matter if she's lying," Atton said, her face taking on a blue tint as they entered the cockpit, hyperspace swirling around them. She threw herself into the pilot's chair, folding her arms behind her head with a satisfied sigh. "If 'she' pronouns are what she asks for, I know _I'm_ not gonna go rooting around for some _secret pronoun_ hiding beneath 3 layers of deception and Jedi mind-tricks. If she wants to be cagey, that's her choice."

"Hm," Siat said, taking the seat beside her. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were being _considerate."_

Atton narrowed her eyes at Siat. "You take that back."

"Fine," Siat said with an amused look. "You're super rude, and generally a terrible person."

"Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> the mando'a stuff is accurate to (legends) canon as far as i am aware, but if anything about attitude to gender is wrong i dont really care so dont correct me :P the echani and miraluka gender stuff is headcanon for this verse. 
> 
> also, a full pronouns/gender list for reference, more or less in reveal/relevant order:
> 
> siat (exile) - she/ey/he; genderfluid  
> atton - ve/she/he/co; genderfluid  
> bao-dur - they; agender  
> visas - zie; neutrois  
> mical - ne/they/she; polygender  
> mira - she; trans woman  
> t3 - any; eh  
> hk - he; no  
> canderous - any; aporagender  
> brianna - she/they; demigirl  
> ahsalin/revan - any; pangender  
> kreia - she; agenderflux


End file.
